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queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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on Deathwork & Griefwork

the valley of the shadow of death

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

It’s June. It is twenty days away from the anniversary of a fixed point in time. It is two years ago and it is twenty years ago. The grief pulls at me and I feel like I am heavily pregnant again, waiting and waiting and waiting for the birth so that I don’t have to…

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on Co-Parenting/on Hope/the Pandemic/the Work

february 17th journal

Posted on February 17, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
hope painted on a rock

I’ve finally started asking for feedback on my death doula services page. I still need a name for the service, but the more important thing is WHAT IS IT and WHO AM I, basically. If anyone out there would like to review it before publishing, pop a comment below or use my contact page to…

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on Co-Parenting/on Hope

january 8th journal

Posted on January 8, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
Don't Give Up

I did not write here yesterday because I was recovering from the tweetstorms about the FUCKING COUP that very nearly happened. And today is full of everyone laughing and opining about a certain orange person who has been permanently banned from Twitter. I’ve had a migraine today and that does make it more difficult to…

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on Rage/the Pandemic/WTAF

january 6th journal

Posted on January 6, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
black lives matter

WHAT EVEN. If you were on Twitter today, you may have noticed that it was a fucking nightmare for most of the afternoon and that only because they were WHITE PEOPLE they didn’t get teargassed, tasered, shot with rubber bullets, beaten with sticks, and/or any other kind of violence you’ve seen at BLM protests. FUCK…

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on Co-Parenting/the Work

january 5th journal

Posted on January 5, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
dying flower

It’s Tuesday, which is phone call day, so I had a bit of phone time with my soon-to-be-twelve-year-old. And ordered her birthday gifts so that at least some of them will get there by Friday, which is when she turns twelve. TWELVE. I’m getting old!! There’s a weird sort of disconnect I feel, not having…

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on Co-Parenting/the Pandemic

january 4th journal

Posted on January 4, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

It’s Monday, and the first day back to school after winter break. My 15-year-old’s school computer had gone completely out of battery and the school-issued modem was also completely out of power, so we put off school start until everything could charge for about a half hour. In true form, my teenager made some really…

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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