the first day

silhouette of trees along riverbank under a starry night sky

heave ho

TOPICAL: this is part of The Cycle of the Seasons series

Today’s efforts tasted like seasoned mac & cheese dinner, with garlic bread.

Today’s small joys included a snuggle with a post-nap toddler who came to my room specifically for that cuddle.

Today’s failures were the small mistakes, the ones we say or act without forethought. Today’s anxiety kept us from perfection, but it always does that.

The dark moon will arrive soon. Tonight it will snow and snow, and tomorrow we may have to dig ourselves out. Holiday gifts might be arriving in the mail, or they may be delayed by the weather. I wish there was a way to note that if the weather is bad, to please delay shipping my order; I don’t want to lose people to capitalism, even when I don’t know who they are.

Tonight is for rest, for playing Stardew Valley, for having a Guinness, for the satisfaction of checking boxes off the day’s over-arching task list. I love project management and I fear it because it leads me into some of my own worst mistakes, the kind I don’t see coming. I’m not omnipotent but a good project management system and plenty of data sure do make me feel like I might be.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new page, a space for new choices.

May your rest tonight be sweet.

— Nix

Our days traditionally begin at sunset. The darkness is all around us but we are safe here together inside these walls that we have fortified with love and with sacrifice.

featured image is a photo by Jackson Hendry on Unsplash

Nix Kelley
Co-parent to multiple kids. Writer. Death doula. Member of the Order of the Good Death. Seeker on the Path of Light. Queer, non-binary, & trans.


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