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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis/the Work

praxis is complicated and hard

Posted on April 19, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 4 Comments
a sign on a building reads 'YOU'RE NOT LOST, YOU'RE HERE'

I think we’ve all been leaving things behind as we’re able.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Hope/on Queerness/the Work

fight like hell for the living

Posted on April 2, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
people marching with many signs, including a large sign held by several people, white with black letters that reads "we who believe in freedom cannot rest" by Ella Baker

It is never far from my thoughts that some of us have already said our last words to those who are beloved.

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on Rage/Poems

unexpectedly I suddenly needed to write a poem

Posted on March 5, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
silhouette of erupting volcano during night time

how can I tell you of my rage /
the holy fire that makes and unmakes me

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on Chosen Family/on Co-Parenting/WTAF

adventures in a chosen family, part two: things fall apart

Posted on February 27, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
close-up photo of brown branch coated in ice

Things fall apart, and in those moments, I think it’s the people you trust that make the chaos bearable.

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on being Exvangelical

now that I’m found, I miss being lost

Posted on February 13, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
vandalized wall with hanging banner that reads 'we found love in a hopeless place'

…it’s beautiful to be wholly yourself. And if there is a kingdom of heaven, it’s made of people who love one another.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Grief

the center of the circle

Posted on January 29, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
closeup of closed flower buds on a tree. the color is suffused with golden sunlight.

You have no obligation to comfort others. You have space to grieve as much or as little as you can, in each minute and in each day. You do not need to hold emotional space for anyone else; or if you do, it’s because you choose to.

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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