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the Infinite
queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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Category: on Hope

a hand reaching upward, lit from the right on an open palm, against a dark background
on Hope/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

the second day

Darkness is no friend to the light. And the more we build our fire, the bigger and brighter it is.

silhouette of trees along riverbank under a starry night sky
on Hope/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

the first day

Today’s failures were the small mistakes, the ones we say or act without forethought. Today’s anxiety kept us from perfection, but it always does that.

a bare tree on a snow-covered slope, against a white sky
on Hope/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

twelve days

We are in a time of darkness but also a time when the promise of the light returning is deeply meaningful.

macro view of a frozen drop of water
on Hope/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

reaching toward the light

Trauma causes us to create new ways to behave, to keep ourselves safe, to keep the dark away.

a pink paper heart ripped in the middle, hanging on a red and white striped wire against a black background
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Queerness

I dream of disappointing my mother

I had a bad dream which was trying to be a good dream, but it was a bad dream because none of it is true.

tilt-shift view of feet in sneakers, presumably belonging to people sitting atop a stone wall
on Hope/on Praxis

a fire sale, if I had things to sell

What I could do, though, was witness it. So that someone was there and you weren’t alone.

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?