I am one with my queerness and my queerness is with me

a photo of many lit candles in the dark

cw: violence against queer bodies, especially trans bodies

NOTE: if the title of this post is confusing, you may not have watched Rogue One and that’s okay, just know that the quote I’m ruining is “I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.

It’s Pride month in 2023 and I must confess that I am wary and, at times, terrified. My siblings are facing erasure and genocide across this country and in parts of the world, and while it has never been completely safe to be queer — I don’t think, I could be wrong — it feels especially and ominously bad this year.

So I don’t know what to say. What do I say? Take a brick with you to any Pride march you attend? No cops at Pride? Be prepared for violence against yourself and everyone you love? I don’t want to have to say any of those things. None of those things should have to be said.

Maybe I’ll have some shining thought that needs to be written down, later this month. But in lieu of that, the following is a selection of links to the writing on Queerness that I am most proud of, from oldest to newest. These are meant to be link embeds, but if they don’t show up for you, the links themselves should be there. You know, hopefully.

queer people deserve deathcare

I want to love Pride month

TDOR: our safe spaces become violent

I dream of disappointing my mother

fight like hell for the living

In our darkest hour, the faintest light shines brightly.

In our deepest despair, one hand to hold can be enough.

By our deaths, we add fuel to the fire of justice.

By our living, we exist as a beautiful reminder that not all hope is lost.

I love you, my siblings. My family. My dearest friends.


featured image is a photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash

Nix Kelley
Co-parent to multiple kids. Writer. Death doula. Member of the Order of the Good Death. Seeker on the Path of Light. Queer, non-binary, & trans.


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