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the Infinite
queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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Category: on Chronic Illness

Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption in Iceland
on Chosen Family/on Chronic Illness/on Decolonizing/on Happiness/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness

australia adventures: it’s okay to not be okay

I want to find the places where my soul belongs. I want to be in places that I love so much I will always miss them after I'm not there.

a young forest in a late afternoon light
Journal Entries/on Chronic Illness

november 7 journal: bring me a song

Maybe not all magic is meant to be understood.

a three dimensional web of green rope against a clay colored background
on Chronic Illness/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

fragments of self

The self that exists in meatspace and on the internet has become fragmented in a way that deeply upsets me.

three round hay bales in a foggy field
on Chosen Family/on Chronic Illness/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I write what hurts my feelings

The pain leads me to what is true.

a comic in three panels. first panel is a mouse saying 'don't dwell on past mistakes.' second panel is a different mouse saying 'oh god...' third panel is the second mouse saying 'that's exactly what I did yesterday.'
on Chronic Illness

how to lose a bunch of writing time

cw: chronic illness experience I’ve had a fair amount of time now with my chronic illness diagnoses — my doctor has been very good at pinpointing what’s going ...

a three panel comic of a yellow bird and a purple computer chair. in the first panel, the bird says 'I can finally fix my posture in this new chair'. in the second panel, the bird sits in the chair and says 'ahh so comfy. let's play a bit'. in the third panel, the bird is sitting across the seat with legs in different directions; a caption reads '~40 minutes later~'.
on Chronic Illness/on Happiness/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness/the Pandemic/the Work

this is all about me: I have become older

I have had a whole year to be forty-three, and I think it mostly went well. Forty-four is a weird number and I am looking at it with squinty suspicious eyes.

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?