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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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an open sketchbook with a watercolor flower bud on the left page, and the words 'We create our reality from our daily choices; the world consists of bills of realities."
on Decolonizing/on Generational Trauma/on Praxis

when I know better, I have to do better

I have the ego and expectations of a person with the attention of thousands of people, with the actual followers and subscribers of a person with the attention ...

a photo of sunlight off-camera to the left, with a leaning ancient stone in front of the light. there is a grassy field and the sky is blue with some clouds.
on Praxis/Poems/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

litha

let it radicalize you, because you are also a choice away from what gives life, or what takes life away.

a four-panel web comic by poorlydrawnlines.com. the scene is outdoors with a few clouds in the blue sky and a few mountains in the distance, with a dark-haired man in the foreground. first panel: 'good morning, sad earth.' says the man. second panel: 'good morning, sad child.' says one of the mountains. third panel: 'hey.' says the man with a frown. fourth panel: 'I'm a sad adult.' says the frowning man, pointing at himself.
on Happiness/on Mental Health/on Neurodivergence

I’ve written myself into a corner

I'm in therapy, THANK THE GODS.

a photo of many lit candles in the dark
on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Hope/on Queerness

I am one with my queerness and my queerness is with me

I love you, my siblings. My family. My dearest friends.

a three dimensional web of green rope against a clay colored background
on Chronic Illness/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

fragments of self

The self that exists in meatspace and on the internet has become fragmented in a way that deeply upsets me.

a POV looking downward at two feet on a sidewalk. the pavement is painted on the right with yellow arrows pointing downward, and scratched into the pavement above the feet is the phrase 'i tried'
on being Exvangelical/on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Mental Health/on Praxis/the Work

great, this again.

Do you ever believe something about yourself so hard that even proof doesn't change your mind?

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:

CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?