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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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on Generational Trauma/on Hope

real elvish rope

Posted on September 6, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a mountain range with some snow-capped peaks. there are sun-suffused clouds behind them, and the sun glows on the lower right.

We cannot take every memory with us. We do not have to take every memory with us.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Mental Health

the things we forget on purpose

Posted on August 21, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a photo of the word 'memories', framed in white, lying with a spray of red berries and a white cloth on a dark knit blanket

Part of why I write here is to bleed off some of the pressure of the years of trauma and grief I’ve experienced, but it’s so hard to write when it really hurts.

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on Chosen Family/on Decolonizing/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis/the Work

capitalism makes no sense to me

Posted on July 11, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 2 Comments
a black and white photo of a protest. the person in the forefront has dark skin and a microphone. there is a sign on the left that reads "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

When I reject the concept that exploitation of people or resources is just, it becomes antithetical to believe that any of us should put anyone else in a position of exploitation.

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on Decolonizing/on Generational Trauma/on Praxis

when I know better, I have to do better

Posted on July 8, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 6 Comments
an open sketchbook with a watercolor flower bud on the left page, and the words 'We create our reality from our daily choices; the world consists of bills of realities."

I have the ego and expectations of a person with the attention of thousands of people, with the actual followers and subscribers of a person with the attention of tens of people.

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on Praxis/Poems/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

litha

Posted on June 21, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a photo of sunlight off-camera to the left, with a leaning ancient stone in front of the light. there is a grassy field and the sky is blue with some clouds.

let it radicalize you,
because you are also a choice away from what gives life, or what takes life away.

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on Happiness/on Mental Health/on Neurodivergence

I’ve written myself into a corner

Posted on June 10, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a four-panel web comic by poorlydrawnlines.com. the scene is outdoors with a few clouds in the blue sky and a few mountains in the distance, with a dark-haired man in the foreground. first panel: 'good morning, sad earth.' says the man. second panel: 'good morning, sad child.' says one of the mountains. third panel: 'hey.' says the man with a frown. fourth panel: 'I'm a sad adult.' says the frowning man, pointing at himself.

I’m in therapy, THANK THE GODS.

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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