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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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on Books I've Read/on Grief

the premonition, by banana yoshimoto

Posted on July 6, 2024 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
closeup of a dark brown tree trunk with some green leaves growing on thin vines. from the Aomori area in Japan.

Reading this book was like pausing and allowing the story to come to me as it was. Reading this book was like a tea ceremony, measured and careful and holy and warm and whole unto itself.

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on Decolonizing/on Happiness/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence

in my queer media era

Posted on July 5, 2024 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
large lettering on a concrete wall: WALLS ARE MEANT FOR CLIMBING. LAND BACK TURTLE ISLAND PALESTINE. WALL OF SHAME. from the river to the sea Palestine will be free.

Living in community with others, with love as a guiding principle, is helping me remember to assume the best about my family members.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Grief/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Praxis/on Rage/Poems/the Work

we are Atlas

Posted on May 5, 2024 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a brown-skinned hand holding a watermelon slice against a backdrop of water

a better world is possible
it will take all of us to make it
where ‘all of us’ means those who will do the work

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on Chosen Family/on Grief/on Queerness

the defiance and pain of queer being

Posted on January 22, 2024 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a nebula in shades of red and black surrounding a white star

We are so beautiful. Even as we dance and glitter and breathe an air maybe only temporarily free, we are beautiful. So long as we exist, we will always be light in the darkness.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis/the Work

on being fundamentally changed

Posted on January 15, 2024 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
grey, black, and red lit clouds over a reflective lake surface

I used to think that I was weak, and tried to make that untrue by becoming as strong as possible. I used to believe that I was nobody, and tried to make that untrue by becoming important to people around me.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Rage/Poems

a hole in the sun

Posted on December 2, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
an image of the sun showing a coronal hole facing the earth

there is a hole in the sun and it is shaped like Gaza

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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