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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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logo for Ever On And On: a multicolored infinity symbol at the top, overlaid by the words 'EVER ON AND ON griefwork + deathwork'
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing

a deathworker’s statement on Queen Elizabeth II’s passing

On this day, I acknowledge the grief of many while acknowledging the celebration by others. Such is the dichotomy that death presents to us, I suppose.

oak trees silhouetted against a summer sunset
on Chosen Family/on Co-Parenting/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis

adventures in a chosen family

We do our best to balance the needs of the many against the needs of the few (or the one) — thank you Leonard Nimoy — and this means that sometimes, saying no w...

a three panel comic of a yellow bird and a purple computer chair. in the first panel, the bird says 'I can finally fix my posture in this new chair'. in the second panel, the bird sits in the chair and says 'ahh so comfy. let's play a bit'. in the third panel, the bird is sitting across the seat with legs in different directions; a caption reads '~40 minutes later~'.
on Chronic Illness/on Happiness/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness/the Pandemic/the Work

this is all about me: I have become older

I have had a whole year to be forty-three, and I think it mostly went well. Forty-four is a weird number and I am looking at it with squinty suspicious eyes.

a four-panel webcomic featuring a mouse and a bird. in the first panel, the mouse says 'nothing is perfect.' in the second panel, there is a closeup of the bird who says 'what about the beauty of nature?' in the third panel, there is a closeup of the mouse, who says 'I AM nature.' in the fourth panel, the mouse says 'and yeah, I'm beautiful, but I make mistakes.'
on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Praxis/the Work

I tried so hard and got so far

I can do my best but that never means it’s going to have been enough to keep the monster under the bed from escaping so that it can’t eat anyone.

a black and white photo of me as a baby on my mom's lap. she is looking at me and smiling, and I am laughing.
on being Exvangelical/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity

born into it

I can still remember eight or nine-year-old me, asking my dad a question that was heavy on my young heart, hoping for an answer that would help me: why do we do...

the end of a rainbow emerging from storm clouds over fields
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I want to love Pride month

I want accountability. I want change. I want rainbows that remind us to smile and recall how much we love each other, not rainbows that are held up in defiance ...

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?