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the Infinite
queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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Author: Nix Kelley

Co-parent to multiple kids. Writer. Death doula. Member of the Order of the Good Death. Seeker on the Path of Light. Queer, non-binary, & trans.
a child reaching through a hole in a wall, stretching out an arm and making eye contact with the camera
on being Exvangelical/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Praxis/the Work

I could only lead you so far

Do you know what it feels like to be believed in? Have you experienced the incredible fortune of knowing that you matter?

a rusted car in front of a concrete block structure, all covered in climbing vines and other flora
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Praxis/the Pandemic

apocalypse of the self

This is a reckoning that has needed to happen ever since the first harm was done. This is a chance to do it better this time.

an old barn with fading red paint beside a large tree, against a midwest summer stormcloud background
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Praxis/the Pandemic

on apocalypses

And we keep waking up every day, doing stuff, maybe doing more stuff, looking for the things that might comfort us, asking the world for meaning, and then we li...

two brown hands holding a heart-shaped stone carved with the word 'Hope'
on Hope/on Praxis

hoping our way into the future

Try to remember what hope feels like. Try to believe that hope matters, even while the future is uncertain.

logo for Ever On And On: a multicolored infinity symbol at the top, overlaid by the words 'EVER ON AND ON griefwork + deathwork'
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing

a deathworker’s statement on Queen Elizabeth II’s passing

On this day, I acknowledge the grief of many while acknowledging the celebration by others. Such is the dichotomy that death presents to us, I suppose.

oak trees silhouetted against a summer sunset
on Chosen Family/on Co-Parenting/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis

adventures in a chosen family

We do our best to balance the needs of the many against the needs of the few (or the one) — thank you Leonard Nimoy — and this means that sometimes, saying no w...

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Nix Kelley

hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

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CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?